Patients come to see us when they’re in pain. That’s great, let me help you with that.

They also come to see us when they’re not in pain, but claim they’re in pain.

I’m not an idiot.

I love the patients who come in to the office and have a whole skit prepared. They know what to say they’re allergic to, what area is hurting, and seem to have practiced the facial expressions to express how much they need pain medicine.

I offer them a solution.

“I’ll get rid of your pain today. We just have to do X.”

“Oh no I can’t do it today I just want to get something to get me by until maybe next week.”

“Ok, then I’ll get you some anti inflammatories and antibiotics to help with the swollen tissue and we will see you next week.”

“Oh no the only thing that works on me starts with a P. . Pe. . Per? Perc. . ”


“Yes that’s the one. That’s all that works on me. I’m allergic to the other things.”

“Sorry, we’re a non-narcotic office. I can treat the cause of your pain and make the pain go away that way. Otherwise it’s just masking the source of your issues.”

“You mean to tell me I’m supposed to be in PAIN until I come back next week because you won’t give me pain medicine?!”

“No. I’m offering you a better solution.”

“Fine I’ll just go to another office.”

When you come in on a Friday demanding pain medicine instead of actually wanting to fix your problem we can tell you’re just fishing for a weekend fix. We weren’t born yesterday.

Patients. . .

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